The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
It's every child's dream to stumble upon a hidden treasure in their very own home. Think how many hours of youth are spent knocking on hollow walls, digging in the backyard and exploring crawl spaces in the hopes of finding something, anything, of value.
I don't even bother calling customer service anymore. If I've got an issue with something, I just rub on some magic voodoo dolls I bought at a Walgreens and hope the issue resolves itself as quickly as possible...
March Madness brackets and the crowning of an NCAA champion in men's basketball is important to a select few people. The crowning of the saddest thing that can happen to a man is much more vital to the our readers. We're just assuming. We're just kind of sick of talking about basketball. We're burned out and the tourney isn't even a day old.
At one point in time, everybody knew Mr. Rogers. It was almost impossible to turn on the television and not catch Fred throwing on his signature cardigan or Bobo shoes and teaching people about the way bread is made or why dogs are constantly sticking their noses up one another's anus...
Leprechauns, the faires of Irish folklore (no disrespect) are popular symbols this time of year. With St. Patrick's Day on the horizon, the little men with their hidden coins, pots of gold and ginger muttonchops are running rampant through the streets spreading their magical mischief...
"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space!" - Macho Man Randy Savage
Everyday, in the United States, we celebrate a national "something" day. There is a National Pancake Day because we're all fat. There is National Donut Day because...wait explained that. It's absurd. It's time for a holiday that celebrates one of our national treasures -- Randy 'Macho Man' Savage.
Taco Bell has been an integral block of my food pyramid for almost two decades. Here is where things get a little odd though -- rarely do I stray from the regular. In the beginning the order was always the same -- three Soft Taco Supremes and three regular crunchy tacos -- with an occasional Grilled Stuft Burrito with beef. Boring but always delivered.
Sofia Vergara is in 'Machete Kills', the sequel to the successful Robert Rodriguez flick staring Danny Trejo and a whole lot of blood. In the sneak peek posters, Vergara lets the world know her breasts have a featured role in the film...
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