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The Midnight Writer

The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
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It’s Time For ‘March Sadness’ — The Bracket of Everything that Makes a Guy Sad

March Madness brackets and the crowning of an NCAA champion in men's basketball is important to a select few people. The crowning of the saddest thing that can happen to a man is much more vital to the our readers. We're just assuming. We're just kind of sick of talking about basketball. We're burned out and the tourney isn't even a day old.

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Portrait Of Mister Rogers
PBS Television / Courtesy of Getty Images
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It’s Fred Rogers’ Birthday So Let’s Celebrate With Some Classic ‘Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood’ Clips

At one point in time, everybody knew Mr. Rogers. It was almost impossible to turn on the television and not catch Fred throwing on his signature cardigan or Bobo shoes and teaching people about the way bread is made or why dogs are constantly sticking their noses up one another's anus

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Real Leprechaun
Getty Images
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7 Things You Shouldn’t Do If You Meet a Leprechaun on St. Patrick’s Day

Leprechauns, the faires of Irish folklore (no disrespect) are popular symbols this time of year. With St. Patrick's Day on the horizon, the little men with their hidden coins, pots of gold and ginger muttonchops are running rampant through the streets spreading their magical mischief

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Obit+Randy+Savage
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Sign the Petition to Make May 20th ‘National Macho Man Randy Savage Day’

"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space!" - Macho Man Randy Savage

Everyday, in the United States, we celebrate a national "something" day. There is a National Pancake Day because we're all fat. There is National Donut Day because...wait explained that. It's absurd. It's time for a holiday that celebrates one of our national treasures -- Randy 'Macho Man' Savage.

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Cool Ranch Tacos
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A Review of Taco Bell’s Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos

Taco Bell has been an integral block of my food pyramid for almost two decades. Here is where things get a little odd though -- rarely do I stray from the regular. In the beginning the order was always the same -- three Soft Taco Supremes and three regular crunchy tacos -- with an occasional Grilled Stuft Burrito with beef. Boring but always delivered.

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Sofia Vergara’s ‘Machete Kills 2′ Poster Proves Her Breasts are Indeed Lethal Weapons

Sofia Vergara is in 'Machete Kills', the sequel to the successful Robert Rodriguez flick staring Danny Trejo and a whole lot of blood. In the sneak peek posters, Vergara lets the world know her breasts have a featured role in the film. Check out the cannons attached to those

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