Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
Emerald Catron
The Best Star Wars Day Art on the Web
This Saturday is basically every geek's dream come true. Not only is it Free Comic Book Day (!!!!!!), it is also Star Wars Day. (Get it?? "May the fourth be with you.") Here are some of our favorite ways people have expressed their excitement over Star Wars Day, because if there's one thing geeks are good at, it's making stuff on a computer. Check it out.
Man Animates His Mom’s Epic Retelling of ‘The Matrix’
To be honest, we haven't watched 'The Matrix' in probably 13 years, so we'd just like to thank this guy's mom for the refresher! Although we're pretty sure the dude's name is Morpheus, not Moshimo. Regardless, we're pretty sure this is a fairly accurate plot synopsis, and the accompanying animation keeps us from nodding off like we usually do when somebody tells us what a movie is about.
Dog Is Not Having His Owner’s Kisses
One man has trained his dog to hate kisses or affection. Sure, it's cute, but they've spent so much time together, and Owner was totally there for Dog that time he ate the Chunky bar -- he even took him to the doctor and washed the puke out of his hair...
The Best Confession Kid Memes
Thank you, Reddit. For all the creepy creepster stuff you do, you sometimes come up with something like this and make us laugh and laugh. The Confession Kid meme is a much more charming cousin of the now-classic Confession Bear. We think he's about a million times better though.
Starbucks Employee Thought Lady’s Name Was Vagina
You know what they say -- when in Rome, do as the Romans do; when in Hong Kong, get called "Vagina" at a Starbucks.* That must be how that saying goes, because that's exactly what happened to a woman named Virginia who was visiting Hong Kong recently, and she wasn't too happy about it.
The Best Dove Beauty Sketches Parodies
Surely you've seen this ad from Dove, in which a forensic sketch artist draws women as they describe themselves, then as other women describe them, then everybody starts crying? If not, it's here for the watching, just to give you some context before we settle in to what this is really all about -- making fun of that ad.
Here’s How You Could Be the Next Iron Man
If you're wanting to be the next Iron Man or Hulk or if you just want a really awesome skeleton -- here's a handy guide to how you can make that happen courtesy of comedian Rusty Ward.
In his new Web series 'Science Friction,' Rusty brings real world technology to everyone's favorite tipsy superhero. Step one is probably to acquire some Tony Stark-level cash, because these things don't come cheap.
Why Liking Something on Facebook Isn’t As Helpful As You Think
If you think you're saving the world by liking a page on Facebook, UNICEF Sweden has got some news for you -- you're not. Liking a page is a great way to keep informed about a charity or cause, but unless it's part of a specific campaign, it doesn't actually do much good...
World’s Biggest Sucker Loses Life Savings on Carnival Game
We feel kind of bad that Henry Gribbohm lost his life savings, totaling $2,600, on a carnival game, but at the same time...COME ON, DUDE!
Saturday Morning as a Kid Vs. Saturday Morning as an Adult
Remember when Saturday mornings used to be the best? In the battle between Saturday mornings as a kid and Saturday mornings as an adult, it's pretty clear which comes out the winner.
14 Animals Who Are Psyched for Cinco de Mayo
Some people express confusion over Americans celebrating Cinco de Mayo, when it's not even that big of a deal in Mexico. We express confusion over people turning down an excuse to eat tacos and sip tequila until the sun comes up/you've gone cross-eyed. Not to mention, did you see that photo? That is a capybara wearing a fake mustache. We rest our case.
16 Photos of Quokkas, aka Your New Favorite Animal
If you're anything like us, right now you're probably mentally screaming, "WHAT? What is this?!! How have I never seen this adorable creature anymore?" Don't feel too bad -- it's a quokka, and it lives primarily on some islands off the coast of Australia, and is currently listed as being a "vulnerable" animal. So it's not like they're walking around all over the place.
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