Unabashed lover of large breasts, pornography, foul mouths, and loud music. Childhood diagnosis of Oppositional Defiant Disorder is possibly related to current position as Associate Editor and only female employee at GuySpeed.
There are times in my life (for instance, when in the presence of Andrew W.K.) where I am unspeakably grateful to have a tool in my pocket to document my increasingly-ridiculous life. A couple of weeks ago, I found myself phone-less in the Big Apple for almost an entire week. Things got really weird.
There's so much in the way of world peace that it can sometimes feel like we'll never get there. As humans, we all have opinions and desires that clash with those of others, and our fierce defense of those things often leads to un-bridgeable gaps that divide us, creating conflict. I think I have found one thing we can all agree on, though: Guy Fieri is a hilarious douche.
So I broke it off with someone I really liked a lot three days ago, and then immediately got the flu. I don't want to talk about it, leave me alone. I mean, Happy Valentine's Day! Let me tell you about the weird dream I had last night!
Call your girlfriend, it's time you had the talk. She will never be as awesome as this weird Swedish dancing alien nymph who somehow pulls off a blonde bowl cut, and it's not fair for you to know that and continue this charade.
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