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Carl Pavano Injured In The Most Carl Pavano Way Yet

Carl Pavano
Hannah Foslien, Getty Images

Spring training hasn’t started yet, but Carl Pavano is already in mid-season form. Pavano, 37, is a veteran major league pitcher with a medical history littered with bizarre injuries. On Thursday, Pavano ruptured his spleen after falling while shoveling snow in his driveway in Vermont. He will be out 6 to 8 weeks.

Could happen to anyone, right? Well, it happened to Pavano because it always happens to Pavano. With Luigi’s mustache and Kenny McCormick’s luck, Pavano was practically a human punch-line even before his shoveling on ice left him incapacitated. While ‘with’ the New York Yankees from 2005 through 2008, Pavano faced 642 batters and spent 630 days on the disabled list.

Here are some of the other ways Pavano has been injured in his career:

1999 — Sore elbow
2000 — Bone chips in elbow
2001 — Complications of bone chips in elbow
2005 — Concussion from a batted ball
2005 — Shoulder tendonitis
2006 — Bruised, strained buttocks
2006 — Shoulder inflammation
2006 — Bone chips in elbow
2006 — Broken ribs in a car accident
2007 — Bruised left foot from a batted ball
2007 — Elbow strain / Tommy John surgery
2007 — Recovery from Tommy John surgery
2008 — Right hip injury
2012 — Sprained shoulder

If your car broke down as often as Pavano, you’d take the damn thing to the junkyard.

Pavano, who was 2-5 with a 6.00 ERA for the Twins in 2012, was an unsigned free agent at the time of the injury. Prior to the fall, both the Colorado Rockies and New York Mets expressed interest in signing him. Now? Probably not so much, unless they want to hire more doctors, too.

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