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Stupid Criminals

Stupid Criminals

Clifford Smith
Spartanburg County Sheriff's Office
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Enraged Man Beats Woman in Wheelchair for Eating Last Piece of Chicken

Some people have no clue how to treat the handicapped.

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Dunkin
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Brave Dunkin’ Donuts Employee Fights Off Robber With Hot Coffee

In a scene we haven’t seen since Judge Reinhold fought off a robber in ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High,’ an employee at a Dunkin’ Donuts in West Haven, Connecticut broke up a robbery by tossing coffee on the would-be thief.

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Riker's Island Prison
YouTube
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Man Breaks Back Into Prison By Impersonating Guard

Perhaps because he missed the food, or maybe he just missed getting his back hair gnawed at on a regular basis? Whatever the reason, an ex-inmate of New York’s Riker’s Island prison was recently charged with breaking back into jail by impersonating a guard.

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Pie Eating Man
Matt Cardy, Getty Images
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Man Arrested After Breaking Into Restaurant, Eating 16 Slices of Pie and Falling Asleep

A man broke into a Baltimore fast-food restaurant last month and ate 16 slices of pie before falling asleep and being captured, police say. Baltimore police responded to a break-in at a Popeye's chicken restaurant on Feb. 19, whereupon they found a 62-year-old man asleep on the floor of the establishme

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Lemur
George County Sheriff/ Dave Beldsoe, Flickr
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Thief Arrested After Trying To Ransom Stolen Lemur

James Edward Welborn Jr. probably didn't have primate theft on his mind when he broke into Julie Harris's home in Mobile, Alabama.

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contempt
YouTube
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Rude Girl Flips Off Judge, Gets 30 Days in Lockup

Left on her own without legal representation, this girl (who was awaiting arraignment for a first arrest) was in over her head. It probably also didn't help that she didn't get the sobering reality of being physically present in court to knock some sense into her, since this is a video arraignment taking place from jail, where she is nervous and surrounded by other inmates. Oh, and it doesn't help that this judge is clearly some kind of jerk.

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TV Thief
iStockphoto
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Man Addicted to Stealing TVs Finally Gets Caught

Matthew Colleluori is in LC-deep trouble.

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Ryan Hopkins
Woodford County Sheriff's Office
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Drunken Thief Was Too Bombed to Rob Little Caesars

Like so many of us have done, Ryan Hopkins made a bad decision while drunk. Unlike the rest of us, he decided to rob a Little Caesars. But the stick-up didn't go quite the way he had (probably not) planned.

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Charles Ross
Manatee County Sheriff's Office
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YouTube Prankster Hauled to Jail for Giving Wedgies

Charles Ross has been caught with his pants down because his victims were caught with their pants up.

Way up.

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police chase
YouTube
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High Speed Police Chase Takes Surprising Turn

We sat through this whole thing video of a high-speed police pursuit in Inglewood, Calif., waiting for something horrible to happen, because it's the internet. Magically, nothing horrible does happen

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Teen Girl Drugs Parents So She Can Go Online Past Curfew
Fox40 KTXL, Latimes.com
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Teen Drugs Parents So She Can Stay Online Past Curfew

We've all heard the stories about stressed-out parents drugging their unruly toddlers with a dose of Benadryl so that they can get some shut-eye, but this is certainly a new twist. On December 28, a 16 year-old girl and her 15-year-old friend from Northern California decided to buy her parents two milkshakes from a local fast-food joint and crush prescription sleeping pills in them so that they can explore the wonderful world of the Internet without that pesky 10 p.m. curfew.

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Bank Robber Caught While Masturbating on Sidewalk
www.kazak.com
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Worst Bank Robber Ever Caught While Masturbating on Sidewalk

As any guy knows, the need for, um, release can sometimes be powerful and all-consuming. But there are probably better times to choke the chicken than in the aftermath of a bank robbery. Just sayin'.

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