Stupid Criminals

Perhaps because he missed the food, or maybe he just missed getting his back hair gnawed at on a regular basis? Whatever the reason, an ex-inmate of New York’s Riker’s Island prison was recently charged with breaking back into jail by impersonating a guard.

A man broke into a Baltimore fast-food restaurant last month and ate 16 slices of pie before falling asleep and being captured, police say. Baltimore police responded to a break-in at a Popeye's chicken restaurant on Feb. 19, whereupon they found a 62-year-old man asleep on the floor of the establishment...

James Edward Welborn Jr. probably didn't have primate theft on his mind when he broke into Julie Harris's home in Mobile, Alabama.

Left on her own without legal representation, this girl (who was awaiting arraignment for a first arrest) was in over her head. It probably also didn't help that she didn't get the sobering reality of being physically present in court to knock some sense into her, since this is a video arraignment taking place from jail, where she is nervous and surrounded by other inmates. Oh, and it doesn't help

Matthew Colleluori is in LC-deep trouble.

Like so many of us have done, Ryan Hopkins made a bad decision while drunk. Unlike the rest of us, he decided to rob a Little Caesars. But the stick-up didn't go quite the way he had (probably not) planned.

Charles Ross has been caught with his pants down because his victims were caught with their pants up. Way up.

We sat through this whole thing video of a high-speed police pursuit in Inglewood, Calif., waiting for something horrible to happen, because it's the internet. Magically, nothing horrible does happen. We aren't going to give away the surprise ending...

We've all heard the stories about stressed-out parents drugging their unruly toddlers with a dose of Benadryl so that they can get some shut-eye, but this is certainly a new twist. On December 28, a 16 year-old girl and her 15-year-old friend from Northern California decided to buy her parents two milkshakes from a local fast-food joint and crush prescription sleeping pills in them so that they ca

As any guy knows, the need for, um, release can sometimes be powerful and all-consuming. But there are probably better times to choke the chicken than in the aftermath of a bank robbery. Just sayin'.

They call New Year's Eve amateur night because it's a night where nearly everyone parties hard, not just those who have regular experience with intoxicants. This means that it's a pretty safe bet that some idiotic stuff is going to go down, sometimes even before the ball drops.

The bathroom isn't necessarily the worst place for a teeth cleaning. In fact that's where most folks regularly brush their teeth. Nevertheless, you wouldn't want to show up for a dental appointment for your checkup and be taken into the bathroom.