Contact Us

Sloppy Joes, Poo-Poo Platters and More — Could Food Names Be Corrupting Our Children?

evil deviled eggs
Cooking Gluten Free, Flickr

Parents must always be on the offensive to protect their children from the countless ways the world tries to steer them down the wrong path. But should parents be leery of the names of foods?

The real answer is probably not. But if you consider what we call certain items in our kitchens and on our dining room tables, kids could be getting the wrong message. At least according to humorist Mark Miller.

With tongue planted firmly in cheek, Miller has created a fictitious organization known as the National Food Messaging Foundation that has released a list of the Top Ten Offensive Food Names. Miller seems to be the only resident of this world, but his sampling of the “list” is amusing.

The offensive food names Miller mentioned include:

Sloppy Joes — “Sends the message that messy is okay. We suggest changing the food to Neat Joes.”
Deviled Eggs — “Do we really want to name an innocent egg item after Satan? Should obviously be Angeled Eggs.”
Dirty Rice — “The last thing we want to do is promote filth, especially among our precious children. Change to Clean Rice at once.”
Licorice — “Obviously, we want to avoid any food item beginning with the ‘Lick’ word. Change to Respectorice.”
Poo-Poo Platter — “Just because it’s from another country, in this case China, doesn’t mean it has the right to appear on a menu in America to influence our children. Change to Fun Fun Platter.”
Lazy Susan– “Even the tableware upon which the food is served is sending out the wrong message. Change to Industrious Susan.”

As soon as the not-so-real NFMF gets done drawing attention to food names, Miller reports that they’ll be moving on to names of sports. Apparently “soccer” is too similar to “sock her” for their liking.

What other food names could be corrupting our nation’s kids?

[Huffington Post]

More From Z94

Best of the Web

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your points and personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account with your Facebook account, just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing profile and VIP program points. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://z94.com using your Facebook account.

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

Register on Z94 - The Rock Station quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!

Not a Member? Sign Up Here.

Sign up for an account to comment, share your thoughts, and earn points to get great prizes.

Register on Z94 - The Rock Station quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!