Man Manages To Expose Himself, Masturbate, While Riding Bicycle

While we’ve always been a bit baffled by the whole showing-your-junk-to-random-women-thing, it clearly appeals to a certain kind of perv. Michael Wayne Adams is that kind of perv.

The Charlotte, North Carolina man, who is being called the “Dilworth Flasher,” (that’s almost TOO perfect) was charged Monday with exposing himself to two women over the past month. Here’s what makes Adams more than just a pathetic guy with a weird compulsion– the thirty-six-year old managed to commit his crimes while riding a bicycle. Which is even more impressive when you consider that he is being accused of masturbating in front of one of the women.

One of the arresting officers said “that was in the Dilworth area but it could have been in any area.” That has little to do with the story, but we keep giggling at the possibility of ‘things happening in the Dilworth area.’

Sure, anyone who’s worth his salt can ride a bike one-handed under normal circumstances but can you even imagine the mangling and possible breakage that would take place if you wrecked while using your other hand to do that?

Forget jail, this guy should be in the circus.

[Via WBTV 3]