Say Goodbye to Movember With ‘How to Kill a Mustache’
Now that Movember is over, it’s probably time to get rid of that flavor saver, so no one mistakes you for a creepy conquistador.
Before we go any further, however, it’s important to note the following: we don’t usually get involved in any of that overly-emotional crap. However, after spending an entire month grooming and growing a hardy ‘stache, it’s been a little tough to say goodbye to our favorite face fur. With all the panty dropping and testosterone level increases that Movember brings, we’ll admit it — we do get a little emotionally attached to the bushel of man hair. So what’s a dude to do when December rolls around? Give our upper lip fur an honorable goodbye.
This video outlines the steps involved in emotionally detaching from our staches.The first one? Take a good 24 hours to appreciate and bid farewell to your lady tickler. You know– make a painting, tell it secrets, braid hairy friendship bracelets, and show your woman what she’s going to be missing by making out with her and rubbing it all over her face. They love that.
When you’re finally ready, they recommend being gentle with your cookie duster and cutting it slowly with scissors before picking up the razor. They also tell us to make a ‘llama stache’ with the remnants and then, in a romantic ritual of mourning, send it all to the Nordic gods of facial hair via a river. Finally, shed a few tears, grow a pair and get on with your chilly-lipped life.
Sure it’s a little lonely for a couple days without that master ‘stache keeping your upper lip toasty, but you’ll get over it, eventually. Until next Movember, fellas. Until next year.