If you've ever thought you hated your job, hold on to that thought... Condomania.Com (self proclaimed "America's First Online Condom Store") apparently conducted their very own study of penis size across America. The final list contained some real shockers...

According to the study, here is the list of "Biggest Peens" in America, starting with the biggest.

  1. North Dakota
  2. Rhode Island
  3. South Dakota
  4. District of Columbia
  5. Massachusetts
  6. Ohio
  7. Arizona
  8. Alabama
  9. New York
  10. South Carolina
  11. Colorado
  12. Maryland
  13. Wisconsin
  14. New Jersey
  15. California
  16. Florida
  17. Connecticut
  18. Virginia
  19. Oregon
  20. Pennsylvania
  21. Washington
  22. Tennessee
  23. New Mexico
  24. Iowa
  25. Illinois
  26. Louisiana
  27. Vermont
  28. Utah
  29. Maine
  30. Nebraska
  31. Idaho
  32. Kansas
  33. Delaware
  34. Michigan
  35. Nevada
  36. New Hampshire
  37. Oklahoma
  38. Montana
  39. Minnesota
  40. Kentucky
  41. Texas
  42. Indiana
  43. West Virginia
  44. Missouri
  45. Alaska
  46. North Carolina
  47. Wyoming
  48. Arkansas
  49. Hawaii
  50. Mississippi

Now before you go to thinking they gave some lowly unpaid intern the most epically worst job in the country, (that was my first thought) Condomania.Com skipped all the sciency stuff, and thrust themselves ahead in this study by recording their sales. Yeah, the Dakota's bragging rights come straight out of the sales receipts for what they purchase most often. (They buy bigger sizes if you still don't understand the concept)

In the absence of actual scientific proof to back up their "study", we can only assume two things.

  1. North and South Dakota have zero clue as to how such garments should fit.
  2. Georgia (the only state not listed above) must have the most clumsy circumcisors in the country...

Either way, be proud of where you come from, since we both know you'll be claiming home to be a Dakota the next time someone brings it up. Cheers