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Texts From Last Night- Volume III

Texts From Last Night
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Here we are again…beginning of the work week, stuck in a windowless office hoping it was Friday! Sounds like you? Don’t worry the weekend will be here soon enough! Just to cheer you up we got the best Texts from Last Night- if you recognize a text- here is our advice- Don’t Tell Anyone!   ‘STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing…’

‘Nothing like smoking out of your roommate’s bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of Christ’

‘I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?’

‘Doing an Easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. I feel so adult’

‘Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.’

‘Don’t feel bad sweetie, you’re not the only classy one in town. I’m still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week’s Margarita Monday.’

‘I’ll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.’

‘In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered “America..”

‘Why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?’

‘After tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste’

‘I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I’m planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don’t trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming “I AM SPARTA!” You’ll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.’

What did you do this pass Easter holiday weekend?

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