Contact Us

Tough Day, Bro — Dude Gets Abducted By Aliens and Charged With DUI

Drunken aliens
Patrick Aventurier, Getty Images

While there is no scientific proof that the consumption of mass quantities of alcohol will render a person completely insane, there is certainly no shortage of case studies within this mad, mad world to build a strong argument against it. See above.

Once a drunkard starts babbling some nonsense about an alien abduction being responsible for his indiscretions, the role of the constituency is simply to look on in horror.

One such incident took place over the weekend in Loganville, GA. According to a report from the Walton County Sheriff’s Department, deputies responded to an early morning call from a woman in the parking lot of a local church, who indicated someone was trying to kill her. When officers arrived on the scene, the woman was bleeding heavily but was unable to give any details about what happened. However, deputies found a cell phone in her possession with the contact information of man named Joel Lankford.

Deputies soon discovered an abandoned vehicle just up the road from the church with both doors open, and the engine still running. In a strange turn of events, while officers were investigating the apparent accident they received a 9-1-1 call from someone in a nearby residential area reporting a suspicious person hanging around on their front porch. When deputies arrived they found — you guess it — Joel Lankford, who reportedly told officers that he had been transported there by aliens.

After putting the entire maniacal equation together, police arrested Joel Lankford and charged him with DUI and leaving the scene of an accident – still no word on whether any extra-terrestrials will be charged.

Next: Let's All Laugh At The Drunk Man in Diapers

Best of Z94

Recommended For You

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for Z Army quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive Z Army contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.