Hot Mess of the Day

Location: County lockup. Achievements: Ruining Christmas for all five people pictured, and an estimated many more.

Location: 3 feet from your itch, and still scratching it. Hardest Things to Do With Long Nails: Playing Angry Birds, giving cootie shots. Skills: Picking locks, changing the car radio station from the back seat, dosing cocaine. Her Motto: "It's a long way to the top...

Name: Hurricane Sandy Location: Atlantic City, NJ (UPDATED: Floating on a large piece of boardwalk, just off-shore)

Name: Terry The Teet Location: Newcastle, England Occupation: Canine wet nurse. Hobbies: Sudoku, erotic lactation. 5 Things She Can’t Live Without: Prenatal vitamins, trips to the pound, a portable pump, lollipops, and religion...

Name: Your Worst Nightmare Occupation: The front-desk greeter in your office building. Interests: Real-life Pinterest, music from rom-com soundtracks that are perfect for listening to while sitting alone in an poorly-lit room, Instagram, that movie 'Swimfan...