The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
Last month, orange-skinned rasslin legend Hulk Hogan tweeted a sexy but awkward photo of his daughter Brooke's legs. He added only the words "Brooke's leg" giving the tweet an overall "psycho listing body parts of his victim" type vibe...
"The job of a sports writer isn't easy" claims hundreds of columns I've read over the years. These men watch and write about baseball for a living which sounds like a step above working in a hospice. It must be awful.
Courtney Lenz, a five year veteran of the Baltimore Ravens cheerleading squad, is claiming the team left her off the trip to the Super Bowl because of her "slight weight gain." Oh deer! Sorry, I meant dear. Force of habit with this squad.
Chris Culliver, the San Francisco 49ers cornerback who yesterday made some inappropriate remarks about gays on Arti Lange's radio show, is backtracking on those statements with the verbal Get Out Of Jail Free card known as "just kidding."
It was, by far, the largest clump of nose hair thine eyes had seen in the flesh. A county fair worthy thatch of hair protruding out the left nostril, like weeds who had found a small sidewalk crack out of which to flourish. It was mesmerizing, snow white, and honestly I couldn't stop since he boarded the train.
There is such a thing as phone envy. We know, because we suffer from it every time a coworker whips out an iPhone 5 and it reminds us of our iPhone 0 because we can't afford an iPhone. We hate those people. We'd hate them even more if they had a leather iPhone case.
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