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Happy November! Thanksgiving is officially on deck as our next holiday, and with it: awkward family dinners! To help, we’re bringing you 15 surprising facts about turkey, so you have something to say to your uncle as he stuffs his face. We know you, though. You’re like us — you need a spoonful of sugar with your medicine. We’re happy to oblige with some eye candy, while you learn.

TURKEY FACT: There are approximately 5,500 feathers on an adult wild turkey. There are no feathers in a bottle of Wild Turkey. If there are, please return it.

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TURKEY FACT: A wild turkey’s gobble can be heard up to a mile away. We would love to see this Verizon commercial. “Can you hear me now?” “Gobble.”

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TURKEY FACT: Alaska and Hawaii are the only two states that do not have large populations of wild turkeys. Alaska really surprised us, we thought only turkeys would live in a place that cold.

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TURKEY FACT: The average American will eat 18 pounds of turkey every year, and more turkeys are feasted on in America on Thanksgiving than on Christmas AND Easter combined. We are gross!

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TURKEY FACT: Turkeys see in color, and during the day their eyesight is 3x better than ours, and covers 270 degrees. They have terrible night vision though, so whatever. Turkeys think they’re so great at seein’ stuff.

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TURKEY FACT: Surprisingly, National Turkey Eating Month is in June, not November. Victoria Justice should be their spokesperson, because we’d totally listen:

Vanessa Hudgens Turkey Leg

TURKEY FACT: Male turkeys form groups to court females, but only one of the males gets to actually mate. Thats a lot of wing-men, per capita. See what we did there? Sorry.

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TURKEY FACT: Ever tried to catch on of these punks? Then you know they can run at speeds up to 25mph, and fly as fast as 55mph. Good luck!

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TURKEY FACT: Disneyland sells 1.5 MILLION turkey legs every year. R.I.P. 750,000 turkeys. (Or more, we’re not sure about the rates of pre-death amputation in the turkey population.)

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TURKEY FACT: The weird, dangly thing on a turkey’s face is called a ‘snood,’ and the weird, red dangly thing under it’s chin is called a ‘wattle.’ We ‘re gonna stick with ‘gobble flap.’

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TURKEY FACT: Studies have shown that female turkeys prefer males with longer ‘snoods,’ as they tend to choose those males in a competition during mating. YEAH WE KNOW, OK? God.

Hot Girls Eating Turkey Legs

TURKEY FACT: Male turkeys are known as ‘gobblers,’ because of the sound they make, but that’s not their only sound! Turkeys have also been known to ‘purr,’ ‘yelp.’ and ‘kee-kee.’ We have no idea what that last one means.

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TURKEY FACT: Since 1947, it has been a White House tradition that the POTUS pardon two turkeys before Thanksgiving. The two birds are meant to represent the President and VP, which…Is that as weird to anyone else as it is to us?

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TURKEY FACT: A turkey is capable of changing the color of it’s head to show emotion or excitement. A turkey’s head can be red, pink, blue or white, depending on it’s mood, making it the most genetically similar creature on the planet to Nicki Minaj:

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Next: Hot Girls Who Love Sports

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