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‘A Haunted House 2′ Review: A Live Blog

'A Haunted House 2' did not screen early for critics. On Thursday, I received an email from my editor suggesting that I pay to see 'A Haunted House 2' at a movie theater on Friday morning. I tried using the "but I haven’t seen the first ‘Haunted House'" excuse, but that seemed to have little to no impact on this request. Who knows? Maybe it’s hilarious? On Friday morning, I purchased a ticked for the 10:45 a.m. screening of 'A Haunted House 2.' While watching, I kept a running diary of the events that transpired. It was a fairly miserable experience. Here’s how all that went:

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Category: Movies, Reviews Tags:
Transcendence Trailer
Warner Bros.
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‘Transcendence’ Review

When I was a young man and the Internet was new, I made the same joke every time I dialed-up and heard those dissonant, scratchy tones. “Chhhhhhh-CHHHHHH-Chhhhhh” my modem would bray, and as soon as there was silence I'd turn to whomever was in the room and conspiratorially say, "all right, we're in."

'Transcendence,' the first feature film directed by Christopher Nolan's longtime cinematographer Wally Pfister, is two straight hours of that “all right, we're in,” with (slightly) updated peripherals. Featuring more technobabble than a middling episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' Rebecca Hall and Johnny Depp star as husband and wife computer geniuses who, along with artificial intelligence labs across the country, are attacked by a band of “neo-Luddite” terrorists.

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David Wolff-Patrick, Getty Images
David Wolff-Patrick, Getty Images
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Guardian Critic Invokes the All-Caps Wrath of the Cure’s Robert Smith

In one of the most blatant offenses against Internet etiquette in history, the Cure singer Robert Smith smashed his Caps Lock button into his computer while responding to a poor review of a recent live performance by the band.

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Category: Reviews
Liz Ramanand, Loudwire
Liz Ramanand, Loudwire
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Steel Panther Give Fans a Taste of ‘All You Can Eat’ With Acoustic Show at Album Release Party

Even though the members of Steel Panther are from Los Angeles, they celebrated the release of their brand new album 'All You Can Eat' with an intimate gig in New York City. The very glamorous and hilarious group performed five acoustic songs in front of a small crowd at the legendary, high-end burlesque club The Box last night (April 1).

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Category: Concerts, Reviews Tags:
Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes
Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes
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Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes Review

The latest chapter of the Metal Gear series was released with lukewarm reception from fans of the series. Many people were put off by the 2 hour campaign of Ground Zeroes and some even opted to just pass on this game all together in favor of waiting for 'The Phantom Pain.' Now the answer to the question will be answered, is this game truly worth the $20-$40 price tag depending on your console of choice to get the game?

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Neighbors
Universal
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‘Neighbors’ Review

It's hell getting old. You're overworked, underpaid, get grey hairs, everything hurts, there's barely time for sex, you fall asleep on the couch watching 'Game of Thrones' and, unless you're George Clooney, you're just not cool anymore. You either hike up your pants and accept it, or you wage all out war. It's the latter that highlights the uproarious Seth Rogen and Zac Efron comedy 'Neighbors,' which just might be the funniest American movie since ... well, since Seth Rogen's last movie.

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300 Rise of an Empire review
Warner Bros.
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’300: Rise of an Empire’ Review

Before anything else: the sex.

There is a sex scene in '300: Rise of an Empire' that is an all-timer. Put it right up there on the shelf next to 'Don't Look Now,' 'A History of Violence,' 'Blue is the Warmest Color,' '9 ½ Weeks' and any of the others that make those best-of lists. Actually, put next to that insanity in the pool from 'Showgirls' (you know, with the dolphin statue?), because there's a level of playful absurdity that changes it from a representation of love (or, more accurately, lust) to something of a Broadway choreographer's interpretation of a fight. Like a 'West Side Story' rumble, but with Eva Green moaning and bent over a table with maps and war figurines. A rise of an empire, indeed.

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Randy Blythe
Tumblr: Randonesia
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Lamb of God, ‘As the Palaces Burn’ – Film Review

"Music is the only reason why I'm not in prison," Randy Blythe says during the intro of 'As the Palaces Burn.' The Lamb of God singer has no idea that he'll soon foreshadow one of his life's most traumatic and heartbreaking ordeals. Of course, in a tragic piece of irony, music became the reason why Blythe found himself one gavel away from spending the next 10 years in prison.

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Category: Music News, Reviews, Videos Tags:
Grand Budapest Hotel review
Fox Searchlight
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‘The Grand Budapest Hotel’ Review

Wes Anderson has finally done it. He's gone and created his own country.

Zubrowka, the fictional town at the heart of 'The Grand Budapest Hotel,' is positioned on the farthest Eastern edge of Europe's great empire. It is a melange of stylistic flourishes and decorative signifiers from a make believe 20th Century - a memory of a memory, a fastidious, whimsical take on real horrors - a storybook samizdat that entices with madcap adventure then goes in for the kill with existential dread. It is an incredible place to visit.

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Devil's Due
20th Century Fox
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‘Devil’s Due’ Review

A newlywed couple (Allison Miller and 'Friday Night Lights' star Zach Gilford) returns home from their honeymoon with an unexpected pregnancy, but as the husband documents their lives, the pair begin to notice that something isn't quite right with the baby. 'Devil's Due' is the latest entry in the found footage horror genre, and while it does have its fair amount of creative visual effects, the thrills are hardly thrilling in this paint by numbers occult chiller. 

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Category: Music News, Reviews Tags:
Nut Job review
Open Road Films
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‘The Nut Job’ Review

Animated animals have long been used as cuddly, fluffy stand-ins for actual human beings and their fraught interactions, and director Peter Lepeniotis' 'The Nut Job doesn’t break from that tradition in the slightest, using the hungry inhabitants of a sunny park to frame up an allegory about political machinations and maneuvering.

No. Really. That’s what 'The Nut Job,' an animated film about squirrels trying to steal nuts from a local nut shop, is about. Politics.

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Category: Movies, Reviews Tags:
Frank Bello + David Ellefson
Photo Credit: Dana "Distortion" Yavin
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Anthrax’s Frank Bello + Megadeth’s David Ellefson Talk New Project Altitudes & Attitude

It's not often that two legendary metal bassists come together to create a new project, but Anthrax's Frank Bello and Megadeth's David Ellefson have done just that with Altitudes & Attitude. We recently caught up with the duo to discuss the new band and its debut EP.

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Category: Music News, Reviews Tags:

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