Ok so here's the thing; having been celibate for almost two years,  I've come to realize two things.

ONE: I am, by design, incredibly sexually repressed...at least that's what Freud and my therapist told me.

And TWO: That by choosing to not have sex, all it's made me do is continuously think about having sex! But not just any type sex...

See, I come from the "Patti Stanger's Millionaire Match Maker" school of thought. Which means: NO SEX  before entering into a committed monogamous relationship! And yes, this rule most certainly does include: hand, blow, and any other kind of "jobs" you can think of!

With that being said, it lead me to this question: When I am ready to "put-it-down" again, which type of intercourse would I desire most; or rather: What Type of Sex is the Best? I've supplied the following edited definitions to help make the decision.

QUICKIE:
A sexual romp that is exactly that – quick, to the point, intense, quick, animalistic, and lust-driven....and quick. (FYI: #EyeRoll)

MAKE UP SEX:
Rough and extremely gratifying sex after an argument. (FYI: The best way to take your anger out on your significant other.)

DRUNKEN SEX:
At your drunkest state, having dirty sex with a friend or a stranger: barely remembered, or totally forgotten. (FYI: Can lead to regret in the morning...that's if you even remember having it.)

HARD CORE SEX:
Crazy, rapid, slapping, wild boar humping; usually lasting until your partner screams their lungs out, her vagina splits, or his balls explode. Different techniques may apply. (FYI: Use caution before having hardcore sex. It may end with a scrotum loss or an STD.)

LONG SATISFYING SEX:
Sex where both the physical and the emotional needs are met, and orgasms are obtained as often as possible. Usually involves eye contact, kissing, whispering word play, and some Karma Sutra.  (FYI: May require a door-lock and some non-judgmental body imaging boosting.)

MORNING SEX:
Having sex first thing in the morning. Best performed at dawn, just before the sun begins to rise. (FYI: May include stinky breath, and having to see what your woman looks like when she wakes up in the morning with no make up.)

By: Tanika Gentry