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The Best Texts From Last Night Volume II


The ‘Best Texts from Last Night’ is back! We were laughing so hard when we read these texts that we just had to shared them with you.

“If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there’s no HBO, I’m setting fire to the place.’

‘Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you…,’

‘Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.’

‘True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?’

‘Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can’t walk and chug bourbon at the same time.’

‘Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.’

‘I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.’

‘I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?’

‘You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn’t for you.’

‘The gays at disneyland are vicious.’

Which text is your favorite?


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