Here I sit in the Downtown Z94 studios surrounded by broadcast equipment and walls that are padded with acoustic foam thinking, one of those 5G vaccination implant microchips wouldn't be the worst idea in our history... I mean, it's not like every major company on earth doesn't know you better than you know yourself at this point, but I'm not talking about data mining today, I'm thinking about how much better my cell data might work if my cellular connection was powered by myself.

I can't send texts when I'm inside a structure here in Lawton. It's a weird thing. I thought for a long time that it might be the metallic tint on the windows or the miles of copper cable in the walls... but I get the same result sitting in my living room at home. Maybe it's just a cellular giant coming to the end of its increasingly pathetic life. All the same, I talk to people who have different companies than mine, and they have the same issues, so maybe it's just an entire industry that has relaxed on the drive to compete with each other for total market dominance.

Honestly, I can be sitting in a field way out in the middle of nowhere waiting on a deer to come stumbling into my comfortable shooting range watching a crystal clear HD stream of whatever game is being played on Thanksgiving Day, but I can't seem to text a picture of my harvest after I get back home. It's growing increasingly maddening. I had high hopes recently as one of the carriers put a new tower in my neighborhood just two blocks from my front door, but it hasn't made an impact at all in the quality of service. So, if that wild tin-foil hat theory of Bill Gates and his 5G network vaccination implant microchip were true, I'd expect better cell service now that I've had my second shot. No such luck.

KEEP READING: Here are the most popular baby names in every state

Using March 2019 data from the Social Security Administration, Stacker compiled a list of the most popular names in each of the 50 states and Washington D.C., according to their 2018 SSA rankings. The top five boy names and top five girl names are listed for each state, as well as the number of babies born in 2018 with that name. Historically common names like Michael only made the top five in three states, while the less common name Harper ranks in the top five for 22 states.

Curious what names are trending in your home state? Keep reading to see if your name made the top five -- or to find inspiration for naming your baby.