In the first Jack Reacher: Never Go Back trailer, Tom Cruise beat up 11 guys. In this new IMAX trailer, which is only 90 seconds long, he beats up eight. That includes a guy on an airplane, a guy he kicks in the face, a guy he jumps on from a great height, a guy he punches through the window of his car, and a guy he strangles with his own telephone cord while talking to him on the phone. He also threatens this man with the line “Maybe I rip your arm off and beat you to death with it.” Oh please oh please oh please Tom Cruise, rip his arm off and beat him to death with it. I’ve always wanted to see you rip a guy’s arm off and beat him to death with it. All my friends say it’s not physically possible. But I believe in you dude! Power of positive thinking!

In other words, Jack Reacher: Never Go Back must be your most anticipated movie of the fall. It must be. What other movie has a guy asking Tom Cruise “Is that fear I hear in your voice?” and Tom Cruise replying with “What you hear is excitement!” None. No other movies would dare to provide this much entertainment value. It’s almost too much for one human brain to comprehend.

I also still can’t get over the fact that the Jack Reacher sequel is called Never Go Back. He went back, guys! He definitely went back! Why not just call it Jack Reacher: Don’t Do SequelsJack Reacher: Never Go Back opens in theaters on October 21. The day will eventually be declared a national holiday; Tom Cruise Rips a Guy’s Arm Off and Beats Him to Death With It Day.

More From KZCD-FM