Not want you want to wake up to. A naked man licking your window.

Monday afternoon, Wichita Falls police were called to a residence off of Kings Highway. According to TRN, the suspect had a knife on him and fled from officers when they arrived on the scene. Officers chased the suspect on foot and the suspect was eventually brought down with a taser. A victim told officers she was assaulted by the window licker.

The suspect was taken to the hospital after complaints of chest pains. An officer said this suspect has a history of drug abuse. He was reportedly seen without clothes licking the victim’s windows. He is charged with assault and evading arrest.

Hopefully this guy gets the help that he deserves. Can't be going around Wichita Falls windows acting like they're the wallpaper from Willy Wonka. Maybe Wichita Falls windows taste like snozberries. I'm not willing to find out, but if you want to try with your own windows, go right ahead.


Do not try on your neighbor's windows or I am going to have to write another one of these stories tomorrow. Actually don't go around licking windows. I don't want to be the one blamed for creating some new Covid disease because someone licked a Wichita Falls window.

Go on about your day without wondering what a Wichita Falls window tastes like. Let's probably guess that it is not good.

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