You Don’t Realize Oklahoma Is Weird Until You Explain It to Someone Else

Every state has its own little quirks, and Oklahoma is no different. We just don't realize it until we have to explain stuff to outsiders.

Take storm season.

Most people head for shelter when the tornado sirens blare. Not here. That's the government letting every Oklahoman know it's time to step outside and see what's going on.

It sounds like one of those totally made-up stereotypes of rural Oklahoma, but it's true. Look out the window next spring, you'll probably see a congregation of neighborhood dads looking off into the darkness headed your way.

It's not because Oklahomans are fearless. We're just really nosey and want to see what's going on.

It's really similar to how the neighborhood mommas will hop outside and vacuum the lawn when the police are up the street at Sharon's house.

That's how you can spot the lifelong and fully committed transplants across Oklahoma.

Oklahoma's directions are pretty weird too.

I mean, anybody could just GPS their way to a new destination, but we'd rather ask someone who knows better. And their directions take a little experience to navigate.

"Go past where Hastings used to be. If you get to that house where the tree fell down in that storm, you've gone too far."

Those are technically two landmark locations that don't exist anymore, but you're fully expected to know what you're being told... and often you do. It's like our own secret little language.

Speaking of driving...

We'll accidentally forget what the little blinking stick on the steering column does. Stop signs are more like suggestions. Anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, anybody slowing you down is an idiot.

Summers' unwritten rules.

If you're running into the store for a quick errand, the truck stays running.

It's not a "waste of gas," it's a necessary sacrifice to preserve the air conditioning. It only takes a few minutes for the interior of your car to hit 140°, and if you've ever grabbed the seatbelt buckle with bare fingers in July, you understand.

Then there's "bless your heart."

It feels really nice and polite to hear, like the person saying it really cares about you... but more often than not, you're an idiot.

Until you master this phrase yourself, you won't know which of those someone means until your conversation is over.

And football?

You're more than welcome to cheer on any high school team you want, but when it comes to college ball, you have to choose one.

You're either throwing up finger-guns rooting on the Cowboys, or hopping on the antique mobile home mascot and letting your inner-toxicity out for the world to see. You'll claim that you bleed crimson, but that's like, you know, basic biology.

As wild as it all is, none of it seems weird to a loyal and true Oklahoman... Native born or adopted.

Also, Texas is a fine place to visit for vacation... but it sucks. Not my words, that's just how it is.