The Oklahoma Wildlife Calls Are Somehow Even Weirder Than You’d Expect

However you feel about Oklahoma game wardens, you can't deny they have some pretty hilarious stories. And because they're getting pretty active on social media again, the Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation is spilling the beans on some of the funniest calls they've ever received.

Now, I would assume that if you're calling the ODWC, you've got questions about hunting or fishing. I know I've called them before about a Rocky Mountain sheep we found wandering Harmon County - long story short, there's no established season for them in Oklahoma. Also, it was delicious. But once in a while, they get some really odd requests that border on scripted comedy.

Calling About Deer Safety

This call wasn't a chronic wasting disease concern, it was a request for a deer crossing sign. Not because they were worried about deer getting hit by cars. They wanted the sign placed in a particular location so the deer would know where to find a safe place to cross.

If you're not laughing, really think about that for a moment. I really want to know what this person thought was happening out there. Were the deer standing on the shoulder, staring at the road signs and waiting for instructions?

“Sorry, boys. Can't cross here. No sign.”

Calling About Wildlife Rehabilitation, Sort Of

Another person called the ODWC about a deer in their yard that had some very large ticks attached to it.

Again, totally reasonable to be concerned about an animal covered in ticks, but they wanted to know if the wildlife department could come pick up the deer and give it a tick treatment.

I'm picturing somebody from ODWC showing up with a bottle of Frontline and a pair of rubber gloves.

A Wildlife Wedding

The two best calls the ODWC let us all in on have to be these... A woman called in asking about hunting season dates. Now, she wasn't calling because she wanted to go hunting, she was just trying to plan her wedding.

Apparently, the legend she's engaged to only agreed to set a wedding date if it could fall between quail season and pheasant season.

Here's the problem, and why that guy is a legend... There isn't a day between quail season and pheasant season in Oklahoma, because those seasons overlap. So somewhere in Oklahoma, a woman was trying to find the exact opening in the hunting calendar where she could squeeze in a wedding.

Reporting Bigfoot

This one is special. Hear it out, and let me know how you would even begin to respond to something like this...

A woman called in requesting assistance to relocate what she described as a frog-bigfoot cryptid.

Yes, that's exactly how she described it.

She was angry about the whole thing too because Kermit M. Bigfoot had been eating her chickens. And just when you think you've reached the outer limits of this call, she apparently added one more important piece of information. The frog-bigfoot in question does not understand English, like, at all.

I'm not sure what the official ODWC procedure is for dealing with a chicken-eating frog-bigfoot, the story on social media didn't go that far into detail... But being a government agency, someone had to respond to it, right?

So methed up, huh?