Seven Weird Things On Amazon
When it comes to finding the weirdest things on the internet, I'm the king. I don't think there's many corners of the world wide web I haven't at least heard about. Amazon is no different than any other site on the network, it holds truly weird treasures. These are some of the best and most random things I've ever managed to spot.
- 7
The Butt Pillow
Years ago, the hottest new pillow product on our planet was the Boyfriend Pillow. It was a pillow with an arm sewn on so lonely women could have a cuddle as they lulled off to sleep. Being an increasingly politically correct same/same equality driven world, guys now have their own girlfriend type pillow shaped like their imaginary ideal partner. The Buttress Pillow is odd, a little creepy, and I don't know about you, but lycra seems like it would sleep really hot. To each their own.
- 6
The Yodeling Pickle
I admit, I have given yodeling pickles as holiday presents over the years. Hindsight being 20/20, I was way ahead of Rick & Morty... If you haven't heard your kid/niece/nephew yell "I'm pickle Rick!" in the last two years, they've lived a sheltered life. Back on topic, the yodeling pickle is a perfect present to give because it's innocuous and hilarious. It literally yodels.
- 5
A Giant Asmatic Woman Decal
This item scores pretty high on my weirds**tometer. It's literally an elderly woman using an inhaler, and it's legit for sale on Amazon. I guess the trend in wall graphics has faded since the glory daze of Big Head culture. This is what that culture has lead us to. There's also an elderly man, and the world famous Harold available if you search deep enough.
- 4
An 82 Pound Wheel Of Cheese
Don't lie, you love cheese. The king of all cheese very well might be parmigiano... or as Americans call it, parmesan. It's salty, savory, and probably half saw dust, but it's a classic for spaghetti night. If you wanted to class it up a bit, all you'd need is homemade noodles, homemade sauce, and this nearly $1800 wheel of real parmigiano reggiano cheese to top it all off with. I can't even imagine the smell this thing would produce in your cupboard, but it's supposedly classy and a status symbol.
- 3
Fake Nipples
There is probably a moving and heartfelt reason someone might be in the market for a set of fake nipples. Perhaps they've suffered an injury or beat cancer and now find themselves without that particular anatomic feature. It's not limited to any one gender either. I have bros that are missing their nubin's too. While most will opt for a tattoo to replace their now missing nips, some people are just either too shy to ask, or too afraid of needles to dare. Luckily, Amazon sells just about everything.
- 2
Hand Puppets
These may have hit peak popularity years ago, but they're a fun thing to goof around with. After all, who uses hands as hand puppets?
By the way, technically speaking, that's ten for looking.
- 1
Live Maggots
While the shock has worn off crawly things like wax & meal worms, live caterpillars and ants flying through the mail, I don't think that's true of maggots. While the aformentioned critters are regularly used for chicken feed and science fun, maggots apparently make such a good fishing bait, they're offered live, dead, and even fake. Whatever floats your boat, but it's hard to explain to a coworker that the package you've received is full of maggots without them at least asking a followup question. To each their own.