Man Takes Hilarious Real Problems To City Council

Meet Andrew Christensen, a concerned citizen of the town of Lincoln. He's on a mission to correct the historical falsity that we, as a country, created and are currently living with... The phrase "Boneless Chicken Wings." You see, and I hope you can agree, boneless chicken wings are a marketing ploy. None of that delicious battered meat comes from a chickens wing, and he's tired of us all slandering the good name of a chicken wing with these shenanigans. As a wing man myself, I totally get where he's coming from.

I'm sure you're already thinking "My kids know where their food comes from..." but lets be honest, they probably don't. I know my incredibly smart nephews haven't yet put two and two together. They have no idea the eggs they eat every Saturday morning come from the chicken coop behind the house. They have no idea the FFA project is what they had for Sunday dinner, and I'm not going to be the one to tell them what's in those delicious hot dogs they'll be grilling this weekend.

Don't get me wrong, my nephews are a couple of pretty adventurous eaters. They're always up for chicken strips at the Mexican restaurant, or the chicken tender meal at the Asian restaurant, and even taking a deep dive into culture ordering the chicken crispers at the Italian place in their hometown. They're not afraid of anything... though, like most kids, they're afraid of the bone in chicken. They think it's gross. They haven't grown to a point where they can gnaw on a drumstick and realize it tastes so much better than a slab of breast meat. That's because the bone-in and dark meats are where all the flavor is.

"But dark meat is unhealthy!"

Wow, you totally grew up in the 80's. The way science looks at food these days is polar opposite of how it used to be, and people are living longer than ever. Teach your children that while meat is technically murder... murder is pretty dang tasty.